she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
