Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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