Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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