I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it hurts more in the daytime
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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