thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
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