That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
