plz talk dirty to me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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