it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
