i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
