I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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