Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just pee around me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
