Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
