Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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