East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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