Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
