you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
birth control should be required to get into college
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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