What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
