She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
