Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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