You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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