i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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