I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
