If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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