Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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