I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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