I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
