We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
