I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
