Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
North Korea, Best Korea!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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