Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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