Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
