I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
