But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
