People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
