she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
