I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
