Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
