My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
