Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just pynch a tree in the face
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
