Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
