It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
