If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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