the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
