Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
