To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
