hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I want to make a zoo with you.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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