so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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