We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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