I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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