hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
