Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
