Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
