She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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