What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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