i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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